Merlin Drabbles
by Masque31
Summary: Random kind of RPs I invented randomly! Range from noodles to the Pendragon Mobile! Slight Gwen-bashing :
1. Chapter 1

**First of some random drabbles that I make up as I go along. Dedicated to MagicByMerlin and Lozrii (I still want those reviews from you!! Kaa rules)**

**Disclaimer: It hurts to say it.... *sob sob* I don't own Merlin!!!! :'(**

**Merlin Drabbles**

Uther: I'm so proud of you! If only your mother could see you! But thanks to EEEEEEBIL sorcerers and magic, That Can't Happen! (continues to rant bout magic)

Arthur: Umm Dad. Back to the point. WWAAAHHH I MISS MUMMY!!!!

Merlin: What's wrong Arthur?

Arthur: WAAHHH I WANT MY MUMMY!!!!

Merlin sprouts a gas mask

Merlin: Are you my mummy?

Uther Has Mysteriously Melted Away

* * *

Merlin: does a brilliant tear jerking re tale from series 1 episode 1 to present with nothing left out.

Crowd: *cries*

TEH MAGICS BEAST!!!: Rawg!!! Ooh a pretty bow tie. MUST HAVE!!!! *carries off Merlin*

Morgana, Gwen and Gaius: OH NOOOES!!! MERLIN HAS BEEEN KIDNAPPED!!!! WHAT WILL WE DO?!?!?!? Send Arthur to his death :)

Arthur: I SHALL SAVE MERLIN!!!

Uther: NOOO!!!! EEEEEBIL MAGIC!!!! Arthur!!!! You cannot go!!!!

Arthur: Can and will, father whom I love so much but I disobey so very often

Uther: *locks up Arthur AGAIN*

Arthur: *busts out*

Bride: Hehehehe *whips off mask and shakes hair in a cool way*

The Readers: OH NOOEESS!!!! TIS NIMUEH!!!!!

Nimueh: NOOO!!!! Only III can killl Merlin!!! *storms off*

Arthur: *saves Merlin in some epic way with Merlin saving Arthur with Magic*

*Nimueh appears*

Nimueh: Darn!!! I'm too late!!!

Merlin: NIMUEH?!?!?!? But I so totally set you on fire and killed you!!!

Nimueh: And I so totally came back!!!

Merlin: Wow that is so totally awesome!!!

*they settle down to a tea party*

Arthur: Ermm....what about Camelot??

Merlin: Oh yah!! *flips hand* Well see you next time you try to kill me kiss kiss!!!

Nimueh: Bye Arthur and Merlin!!!! Say Hi to Uther for me!!!!

*Arthur and Merlin walk off*

Nimueh: Why am I sitting alone in a creepy dark cave? Oh yeah!! I live here!!!

THE END

**Told you they were random ;) **


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: It hurts to say it.... *sob sob* I don't own Merlin!!!! :'( and the first one was half written between me and MagicByMerlin**

**Merlin Drabbles**

**Gwen and Morgana in a beauty store**

Morgana: Ooo, Gwen! Look at all these wonderful gifts from the gods!

Gwen: *looking frightened* But, Morgana...what if the king finds out...you know how he is with all this...he says it's magical... *bites nails*

Morgana: Magic smagic! *grabs bottle off the self and reads label* Massage into hair daily...will make it glow like the sun...Ooo, do you reckon it will attract Arthur to me!

Gwen: -.-"

* * *

Morgana: Durex play. What does that mean?

Gwen: I don't know, but it's peppermint scented.

Morgana: LET'S BUY IT!!!

Gwen: *picks up scissor-y thing* what's this? Eyelash curler?

*Morgana and Gwen exchange looks*

*Gwen tries it*

*random fat woman walks past and barges her*

Morgana: *laughing* Gwen! All your eyelashes have come off!!!

Gwen: NOO!! Arthu-um Gaius will hate me like this!!

Morgana: You like....Gaius?

Gwen: Umm....yes?

Morgana: Eww

* * *

Gwen: *reading label of mysterious bottle* Per...perfume...

Morgana: What does it do?

Gwen: I don't know... *takes off cap*

Morgana: Be careful! It might be dangerous!

Gwen: I'm sure it will be fine...maybe you have to spray it on your eyes...

Morgana: No, wait! I think it's-

Gwen: *sprays it on eyes* ARGH!!! MY EYES!!!

* * *

Gwen: Waxing strips?

Morgana: *shrugs*

Gwen: Put it on your skin and peel off *shrugs and follows instructions*

Morgana: Wait! It says it might be painful *Gwen pulls and screeches* Oh dear, too late.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: It hurts to say it.... *sob sob* I don't own Merlin!!!! :'( **

**Merlin Drabbles**

**Arthur climbs to Vivian's balcony but ends up outside Morgana's instead...**

Arthur: Vivian!

Morgana: Arthur, what are you doing?

Arthur: I have realized...I LOVE VIVIAN!!!

Gwen: *sulk* we're supposed to get together

Arthur: Vivian's prettier than you!

Gwen: *recedes into corner*

Morgana: Okay....

Merlin:....

Uther: Damn magic....

Gaius: I DON'T BELIIIIIEVE IT!!

* * *

Vivian: I LOVE YOU TOO ARTHUR!!!

Arthur: DON'T YOU JUST!!!!

*They snog*

Gwen: Umm...can I go now?

*she is ignored*

Gwen: *sobbing* NO ARTHUR!!! DON'T FORSAKE ME!!!!

*ignored big time*

Gwen: If you won't talk to me, I'll...I'll....JUMP OFF A BRIDGE!!!!!

*ignore-y pants*

*Gwen is on a medieval skyscraper*

Morgana: No don't do it!!!

Merlin: NOOO!!!

Uther: Oh NO!!! She's gonna jump!!!

Gaius: Poor Gwen the maid

Uther: She's a slave? Eww! Nasty slave. Dirty slave *walks off*

Gaius: OH NO!!! MY LIZARD POTION IS BOILING!!! *runs off*

Gwen: Arthur!!! I LOVE YOU!!!

*Vivian and Arthur are still snogging in her room*

Gwen: I'LL JUMP!!!

Me and you: MAKE LIKE A NIKE AND JUST DO IT!!!

*Gwen jumps*

Splat.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: It hurts to say it.... *sob sob* I don't own Merlin!!!! :'( **

**Merlin Drabbles**

Arthur: I LOVE GWEN!!!

Lancelot: I LOVE GWEN!!!

*they look at Gwen*

Gwen: I LOVE BOTH OF YOU!!!

Arthur: That doesn't help does it?

Lancelot: OMG I''m being watched by a duck somewhere!!!

Arthur: That's soo cute...

*exchange of looks*

Arthur: Well I hated to admit it, I'M GAY!! Okay? I only pretend to love you so I look straight!!

Lancelot: I swing both ways *raises eyebrow in a Gaius-y way*

Arthur: OMG ur soo hawt!!!

*They snog*

Gwen: *stamps foot* Hey!!! We're supposed to be an epic love triangle!!!

*lip locked and ignored*

Gwen: NOT AGAIN!!!

Great Dragon: I knew this would happen!! Amen. Good work Merlin

Gwen: Wah?

Merlin: You and Arthur nuh uh LANCELOT and Arthur YEAH BABY!!

Gwen: NOO!!!

Nimueh: *strokes Gwen's arm* There's always me...

Gwen: *shrugs* Ah well, a happy ending

MBM: WHAT?!? *brandishes sword*

Gwen: AAHH!!! SAVE ME!!!

*They all stare*

MBM: *Cuts down Gwen in an epic way*

Gwen: *with dying breath* Help me, I thought you loved me.

Nimueh: *shrugs* MORGANA!!

Gwen: *dies*

MBM: good work *thumbs up*

Me: no probz ;)


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: It hurts to say it.... *sob sob* I don't own Merlin!!!! :'( **

**Merlin Drabbles**

GD: RELEASE ME!!!

Merlin: Jesus, dude calm down!!!

GD: Jesus hasn't been born yet

Merlin: Whatever

GD: Raargh!!! I AM FREE!!!!

Uther: ARRRGGHH!!! My magic sense is tingling. Arthur! To the Batmobile!

Arthur: *gives Uther weird look* Father I think you mean 'To The Pendragon-a-bile'!!!

*They scoot off in a little red car with dragons while the Knights of Camelot run after them*

GD: RAAGH!!! *destroys stuff*

Merlin: OMG!!! WHAT DID I DO?!?!?

Gaius: WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!?

Merlin: Nothing *shifty look*

Gaius: *sigh and opens book* Oh noes!!! The Dragon can only be defeated by *mysterious music* A Dragon Master...

Merlin: Is he some Chinese guy with a thin moustache??

Gaius: *gasp* How do you know? Have you seen him?!? No mortal can ever see him!!!

Merlin: Yeah, he runs the local noodle shop

Gaius: Oh that guy

*they walk off*

Arthur: *loads crossbow* I have a shot!!

Uther: *mysterious voice* Use the Force!!!

Arthur: Father?

*Uther holds out machine gun*

Arthur: Excellent *opens fire*

Noodle guy: What can I get you?

Gaius: We need.....THE MAGIC SPRING ROLL!!!

Merlin: Magic Spring roll?

Noodle guy: THE MAGIC SPRING ROLL?!?!?!?

*he extends soggy lump*

Gaius: QUICK MERLIN!!! USE IT!!! *shoves it onto Merlin's hands*

Merlin: Umm...okay?

*They all run out the noodle shop*

GD: MWAHAHAHAAHAHAAAA!!!!!

Arthur: NOO!!! I WILL DEFEAT YOU!!!! *opens fire again*

Merlin: *throws the roll at GD*

GD: OMG!!! THE MAGIC SPRING ROLL!!!! *falls out the sky and into some parallel dimension where he shall one day eat The Master*

Camelot: OMG!! We're SAVED!!!

*Arthur and Merlin bromance scene*

*Merlin and Gaius laughy moment*

*end credits*

Audience: WHERE'S SERIES 3, BITCH?!?!?


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: It hurts to say it.... *sob sob* I don't own Merlin!!!! :'( **

**Merlin Drabbles**

Arthur: I LOVE VIVIAN!!!

Uther, Morgana, Gaius: NOT AGAIN!!!!

Arthur: What?

Morgana: Need I remind you of Nimueh and Sophia?

*Uther spit-takes*

Uther: NIMUEH?!?!

Morgana: He met her in the forest and she put on the Little Maiden Lost routine and he didn't seem to think it was weird when she said 'I know this place. I can help you.' IF YOU KNOW THE PLACE, WHY ARE YOU LOST?!??!

Uther: That's it!!1 Lock 'er up

Vivian: NOOO!!!!

Gwen: *secret smirk*

Uther: Why are you smirking, slave? TO THE DUNGEONS!!! I always wanted to say that

Arthur: *watches Gwen get dragged away and sits down*

Merlin: Well that was utterly normal


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: It hurts to say it.... *sob sob* I don't own Merlin!!!! :'( **

**Merlin Drabbles**

*Nimueh walks in*

Uther: *sigh* Hi Nimueh, going to kill me?

Nimueh: MWAHAHAHAHAAA!!! How very perceptive of you Uther!! Now die, UTHER PENDRAGON!!! *shoots lightning bolts that miss him by 5 metres*

Uther: *stirs tea* Shut up Nimueh, you couldn't kill a blind wombat, now go away, I'm trying to drink tea.

Nimueh: Fine! I shall make YOU fight me!! Igraine was a £(mce_markeramp; £$*"£& $%**$% mce_markerpound;(&" ("£&$( £"($"£(&$(£& "(%% (%^*(%&^ £*4238$6"£$^ !"*8164!!!!!

Uther: Wow, lotta swear words.

Nimueh: NO!! You're supposed to track me down and kill me for the rest of your life!!!

Uther: Can't be bothered

Nimueh: JUST DO IT!!!

Uther: *sighes and picks up sword* Die Nimueh *wiggles sword feebly*

Nimueh:MWAHAHAHAAAAA!!!! *Shoots more nolts that miss Uther*

Uther: *sinks to the ground* Wow I'm dying. And I never got to drink my tea

Nimueh: Mwahahahaha!!!! *vanishes*

Uther: *looks around* Now that's over with *drinks tea*


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: It hurts to say it.... *sob sob* I don't own Merlin!!!! :'( **

**Merlin Drabbles**

Uther: DIE SORCERER!!! DIE!!!

Arthur: Dad, that is the pizza man....and he got us slices of pepperoni instead

Uther: YOU SHALL BE BURNED AT FIRST LIGHT!!!

Pizza guy: Gulp

Arthur: *rolls eyes*

Gwen: OH NOOO!!!! I must now blackmail Arthur!!! Arthur!!! You cannot let this innocent man die!! Stop being stupid and SAVE HIM!!!!

Arthur: Do I know you? *walks away*

Gwen: *calls after him* YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO FALL IN LOVE WITH ME!!!!

Arthur: Crazy Stalker

Merlin: You know your father is executing a pizza guy?

Arthur: No, I don't

Merlin: Well-

Arthur: SARCASM MERLIN!!!!

Merlin: Oh right.

Arthur: Idiot besides Daddy won't really do it

Merlin: Daddy?

Arthur: Shuddup

Meanwhile....

Far away in a distant galaxy......down the road from the citadel

Woman in blue cloak: My brethen!! It is TIME!!!

*takes off cloak. TIS NIMUEH!!!*

Sigan: Hey, Nimmy

Nimueh: *sigh* what have I told you about the nickname?

Sigan: *Mumbles* you'll shoot me with lightning?

Nimueh: MWAHAHAHAHAA!!! That's right!!!

Morgause: Can we get on with it??

Edwin: My beetles are restless

Mary Collins: You think that's bad? I'm stuck as some sappy singer!!!

Sophia: I love Arthur!!! *swoon*

Aulfric: Don't worry, she's pretending

Mordred: Damn, where's my creepy cloak?? And my dummy??

Tauren: Shut up you lot!!! I'm trying to find my stone!!

Katrina: Stuff your stone!! Jonas, where's my dung you pathetic lizard thing?? What are you anyway??

Jonas: I'm a unicorn!!! *transforms*

Nimueh: SILENCE!!! We are gathered here to bind the union of- what am I talking about? WE'RE ALL HERE TO KILL THE ROYAL FAMILY!!! But first, what is our name??

Mordred: Sith

Edwin: Creepy cloak people

Sophia: People with magic

Sigan: The raven brigade

Tauren: Scouts patrol

Nimueh: How about people with awesomeness?? Or PWA

Sophia: How about people with N'Awesomness

Sigan: Umm...why?

Sophia: So we can PWN people

Aulfric: Young people with slang...*sigh*

Nimueh: PWN UTHER!!!

PWN: *cheer*

* * *

Edwin: Hush, my beetles!!

Sigan: Quiet, my pretties rwavens!!!

Aulfric: Shut up you midgets or I'll clip your wings!!!

Nimueh: Go forth Afanc!!! And get us some pizza!! We are starved from evil plotting!!!

*flurry of animals go away*

Nimueh: ARE WE READY???

Mordred: CAN WE FIX IT?? YES WE CAN!!!!

Tauren: *shoves dummy into Mordred's mouth*

Katrina: Can we eat him??

Jonas: Eat...eat...

Nimueh: NO! We need him!!

Tauren: Why??

Nimueh:.....

Katrina: *Smug look*

Sigan: EAT HIM!!!

*PWN eat Mordred*

Sigan: *burps*

Sophia: Can we go now??

*PWN walk off without her*

Sophia: HEY!!! You need someone who makes Arthur fall in love with her!!!

Nimueh: Don't need you. We have Vivian now.

Vivian: *sticks tongue out*

Sophia: *WAIL!!!*

Uther: EEKK!!! SORCERERS!!! Arthur!!! Save m- US!!!

Arthur: Can't be bothered. I love Vivian!!

Vivian: *flutters eyelashes*

Gwen and Sophia: What about me??

Arthur: Did someone say something?

Nimueh: *bursts into hall*

Uther: *screams like a 7 year old who has just consumed helium*

Sigan: WE HAVE A PETITION!!!!

Arthur: Huh, wat??

Edwin: Pay attention, blondie!!! Wr will leave your kingdom alone if you stop murdering us. I have to be alive so I can...live.

Uther: Where is it?

Nimueh: *extends scroll* 12 signatures!!

Uther: *mumbles* fine

Nimueh: *jumps* FREEDOM!!!! FREEDOM!!!

*choir pop up*

Sigan: FREEDOM!!!

*everyone dances*

*Gwen and Sophia try and dance with Arthur but he holds on to Vivian*

*Uther breaks his back break dancing and goes and drinks tea*

* * *

Merlin: Hey Mary!! *wink* looking good!!

Mary Collins: *points at self* Me? Have you the sight of a fuc- *gets cut off as Merlin attempt to rumba with her*

Nimueh: CONGA!!!!

PWN: *unite to form conga line*

Uther: *tries to join*

Nimueh: *pushes him* NO ROYALS ALLOWED!!!

Janitor 1: OMG GWEN!!! UR SOO PWEETY!!! *licks her* ONG you taste like salt!!

Janitor 2: HANDS OFF!!!! SHE'S MINE!!!!

*each pull on Gwen's hands*

Arthur: Hey look!!!

Gwen's Brain: OMG HE LOOKED AT ME!!!1!!1!!! HE SO LIKES ME!!! SCORE!!!!

Arthur: A tug of war rope!!

Gwen's Brain: NOT GOOD!!!!

Practically the whole of Camelot: *Charge at Gwen's and start pulling her*

Gwen's Brain: AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!! I AM IN PAIN!!!!!!

Jonas: Jonas pee on ugly slave!!!!!!!

Gwen: AARRGGHH!!! SOMEONE PEED ON MY DRESS!!!

Merlin: *reaches down and pets Jonas* good boy

Jonas: *pants and chases tail*

Merlin: Wow that's so cute!! Gaius can we keep Jonas??

Gaius: Sure, we don't know what he is and he could turn out to murder us but who cares??

Merlin: YESS!!!! That's was sarcasm wasn't it?

Gaius: *nods*

Merlin: *big blue puppy eyes (SOOO CUTE!!!!)*

Gaius: Well.. I suppose... FINE!!!

Merlin: YES!!!!

Jonas: *yaps like a chihuahua*

*END CREDITS*


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: It hurts to say it.... *sob sob* I don't own Merlin!!!! :'( **

**Merlin Drabbles**

Merlin: Don't cry!!!!

Arthur: We love you!!!!

Me: YAY!!! FANGUYS!!!!

MBM: :( I feel lonely

Gaius: Why heeeelloooo there!!

Uther: hehehehe who's this?

MBM: Err....

Merlin: *runs away from me :(* well what have we here??

Arthur: never fear!! I am always faithful!!

Vivian, Gwen and Sophia: Hmph!

*We all run into a sunset*

Us: Ouch! Sunsets are painful!!!


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: It hurts to say it.... *sob sob* I don't own Merlin!!!! :'( **

**Merlin Drabbles**

Gwen: OH NOOOOO!!! I CANNOT WORK OUT THE ANGLE OF INCIDENCE!!!!

Me: But it's the angle of reflection

Gwen: NOOOO!!!!! IT'S TOO HARD!!!! I CANNOT DO IT!!!

Arthur: I only like smart people

Gwen: *frenzily writes down everything*

Me: * checking answers* but all of these just say 'Mrs Arthur Pendragon'? WRONG!!!

Arthur: Eww stalker people

Gwen: But I LOVE YOU!!!!

Arthur: Well I love CrAzYwRiTeRgUrL!!!!

Gwen: NOOOO!!!! *eats my homework and chokes on it*

My Physics teacher, Mr Berndes: Where's your home work?!?!!!

Me: An ugly slave ate it

Mr Berndes:....

Me: It was Gwen!!!! She choked on it!!!

Mr Berndes: That's ok then!


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: It hurts to say it.... *sob sob* I don't own Merlin!!!! :'( **

**Merlin Drabbles**

Merlin and Arthur: *waltz*

Arthur: *Holds a rose between his teeth*

Merlin and Arthur: *waltzy waltzy and end up in that position where Merlin's leg is in the air*

Gaius: Sire?

Arthur: *Looks up*

Merlin: *Stands up and fidgets*

Arthur: I was.....teaching Merlin how to do a headlock!

Gaius: Uh huh. I'm gonna umm.... go now... BYE!!!! *runs out*

Arthur and Merlin: *avert eyes*


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: It hurts to say it.... *sob sob* I don't own Merlin!!!! :'(**

**Special chapter for Lozrii!!**

**Merlin Drabbles**

Gwen: I'm so happy! Arthur looked at me! And then he threw an orange at me! True love....

Kaa: Gwen....is happy? NOOO!!!!

Gwen: *Puts down washing basket*

Kaa: *slithers into it*

Gwen: *walks off with basket*

Kaa: EAT GWEN!!!!

Gwen: AAAAAH!! A SNAKE!!!!! ARTHUR!!! SAVE ME!!!!

Some random fat bloke also called Arthur: Wow, a snake!

Real Arthur: Yay! Kaa is purging the land and saving us from icky sticky love scenes!!!

Merlin: Kaa? I LOVE YOU KAA!!! I WANT YOUR AUTOGRAPH!!!

Kaa: *burps*

Gwen: *Is in Kaa somewhere*

Arthur: My hero!! I must knight you!!

Uther: What happened? I was drinking tea!

Arthur: Kaa saved us!

Uther: From what? A sorceror?

Arthur: *sigh* No Father, from an ugly slave!

Uther: An ugly slave? That's okay then! *Knights Kaa*

Arthur: Arise Sir Kaa!!

Kaa: Ermm... I kinda have no legs!

Arthur: Don't worry! We love you anyway!

*Kaa spends the rest of his life in Camelot, doing stuff that Gwen supposed to do. Including marrying Arthur.*

Gwen: *Has been pooped out and is floating the the castle moat somewhere* Erm.. where am I? It kinda smells here! Not as bad as me of course...


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: It hurts to say it.... *sob sob* I don't own Merlin!!!! :'(**

**Special chapter for MagicByMerlin to cheer her up!!!!**

**Merlin Drabbles**

Merlin: I'm onto you, kitchen items...I'm onto you

Arthur: Merlin, what are you doing?

Merlin: *Looks up from stroking random culinary items* The Spatula and the Fork are in LUURVE!!

Arthur: *Holds up fork* This, Merlin, is what we call an 'inanimate object' understand?

Merlin: *Nods*

Arthur: It cannot feel, it has no emotions, it can't think.

Merlin: *snatches fork* DON'T INSULT FANNY!!!

Arthur: Fanny? Who's Fanny?

Merlin: *beaming* Fanny the Fork! And Sam the Spatula!

Arthur: I know! Let's have a wedding!

Merlin: Yeah! Where?

Arthur: *Picks up 'Fanny' and 'Sam' and throws them in the bin*

Merlin: *Waves down the bin* Bye Fanny and Sam! Have a nice honeymoon!

Arthur: *Mutters* In the dumpster

Merlin: What did you say?

Arthur: *Puts on innocent face* Nothing!


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: It hurts to say it.... *sob sob* I don't own Merlin!!!! :'(**

**Merlin Drabbles**

Merlin: *Walks in covered in mud*

Arthur: Clean my- Woah! What happened to you?

Merlin: Your vicious new dog happened!

Arthur: What do you mean?

Merlin: Sit down. This will take a couple hundred years. First, he drags me through a bush, stable, river, wood, swamp etc. THEN he POOPED on my HEAD!!

Arthur: Eek! Well, I hear dog poo is a good conditioner.

Merlin: Not. Funny.

Arthur: *Laughs head off* Get in Merlin.

Merlin: Get in? Get in where?

Arthur: *Points to bathtub*

Merlin: That's your bath

Arthur: No. It's yours.

Merlin: No. It's yours. Go sit in it!

Arthur: *Picks Merlin up and throws him in bathtub*

Merlin: Aah! This water is too hot!!

Arthur: Don't be such a girl Merlin!

Merlin: There's something poking into my back!

Arthur: Let's hope it's not the plughole monster!

Merlin: *Extrudes rubber duck*

Arthur: MR DUCKY!!! I mean, I've never seen that before in my life.

Merlin: Sure, you haven't.

Arthur: *Glares*

Merlin: *Reaches behind him again to pull out an octopus* Meet Mr Octopus!

Arthur: *Attacks Mr Octopus with Mr Ducky* YOU'LL NEVER CONQUER THE LAND OF BATHWATER!! NEVA!!!

Merlin: *Attacks back* SURRENDER MR DUCKY!!!!

Arthur and Merlin: *Have Epic toy battle*

Merlin: I win!

Arthur: No, I win!

Merlin: I WIN!!

Arthur: Yes Merlin, you win.... at being the one to clean up this mess

Merlin: *Looks around at half the content of the bath being spilled* Uh oh

Arthur: Precisely


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: It hurts to say it.... *sob sob* I don't own Merlin!!!! :'(**

**Written by MagicByMerlin**

**Merlin Drabbles**

Gwen: *whistling* I'm so happy! Look at the birds! Look at the trees! I love the trees! *hugs random tree*

MBM: Insufferable oaf.

Gwen: O.O What was that?

MBM: *refrains from stabbing with knife*

Gwen: Hmm...must have been the wind.

MBM: ONLY IDIOTS SAY THAT!!! :-

Gwen: *skips away down path*

MBM: *grumbles with malcontent*

Gwen: *picks flowers* Oh! Arthur will love these! ^.^ He's so beautiful and hunky.

MBM: *refrains from throttling* You keep your horrible little hands offa him...

Gwen: *hears noise* What was that?

Dragon: WAARRRRAHAHAAGGG!!!

Gwen: *pathetic squeal* *faints* Oh, Arthur...save me... *makes sure cleavage is showing*

Arthur: Eww. I'd rather have Merlin.

Merlin: ...

Arthur: Joke, man...joke...

Merlin: *edges away*

Dragon: Enough of this...GWEN, YOU HAVE BEEN FOUND GUILTY!!!

Gwen: *gasps* Of what???

Dragon: EXTREME UGLINESS!!!

Gwen: But-

Dragon: *slays Gwen with a swipe of it's giant claws*

MBM: *starts to samba with Merlin* OH, HAPPY DAYS!!!

Merlin: Arthur, she scares me.

Arthur: *takes one look at MBM* You're on your own, mate...dragons I can handle...but her...no...

MBM: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: It hurts to say it.... *sob sob* I don't own Merlin!!!! :'(**

**Merlin Drabbles**

Gwen: Wow, isn't it so nice to exist?

MBM: Not nice when you exist... *Grumbles unmentionables*

Gwen: *Looks into mirror* How can Arthur not fancy me?

MBM: Very easily

Gwen: Huh? Did someone say something?

MBM: ARGH! *Stabs Gwen with knife*

Gwen: Ick...argh...schmuck...meh *Writhes in agony*

Arthur: Hey you!

MBM: Uh oh

Arthur: Hey you Merlin! Look! Gwen is DYING!

Merlin: I'll get the popcorn and yellow clothes!

Arthur, Merlin and MBM: *Sit and watch Gwen dies while eating popcorn and dressed in yellow*

Gwen: *Dies*

Merlin: Arthur...

Arthur: Yes?

Merlin: I can't feel my arm

Arthur: *Looks at Merlin's arm to find MBM squashing the life out of it*

MBM: OMD OMD OMD!!! Gwen DIED!!! OMD OMD OMD!!! I LOVE COLIN MORGAN!!!!

Merlin: Who's Colin Morgan?

MBM: You are, you gorgey boy!

Arthur: ...

Merlin: I think I might have gotten myself a fangirl

Arthur: HAHA!! I don't have one! *Sticks tongue out*

CWG: OMG!! BRADLEY JAMES!! I LOVE YOU!!! OMG!!

Merlin: *Smirks* Yes you do!

Arthur: Shut up Merlin!

MBM: OMD BROMANCE!!! MUST HAVE!!

Arthur and Merlin: *Exchange looks* My fangirl is a psycho!


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: It hurts to say it.... *sob sob* I don't own Merlin!!!! :'(**

**Written by MBM again ;D**

**Merlin Drabbles**

Gwen: No! Wait! I'm okay! :D

MBM: DAMMIT!!!

Merlin: Looks like the celebrations are over, guys... :(

Arthur: Hang on, everybody! This is a GOOD thing!

MBM: It...is?

Arthur: Yeah! :D

Merlin: Umm...

Arthur: -.-" Come on, guys! We get to kill her again!

MBM: OMD THIS IS THE BEST THING EVA!!!

Arthur: I knew you'd see things my way. ^^

Merlin: *looking hungry* Can I kill her with a gruesome spell?

Arthur: A what?!

Merlin: O.O Oh...what...umm...

Arthur: *suspicious* Is there something you're not telling me?

Merlin: *whistles* No...

MBM: Guys...

Arthur & Merlin: What?

MBM: Gwen is sneaking off...

Gwen: Darn! Scuppered!

Arthur: MERLIN, USE YOUR EARS!!!

Merlin: *trips Gwen up with overly sized yet utterly adorable ears*

Gwen: *falls over* Oh, well...at least my cleavage stick out more like this...

Arthur: Really eww.

MBM: I HAVE AN AXE!!!

Merlin: Whoa! Where did that come from?

MBM: I keep it in my pocket at all times.

Gwen: But I don't want to die... Arthur, do something!

Arthur: Umm...okay... *takes axe from MBM*

Gwen: No! Not that!

Arthur: *swings axe*

Gwen: Urk!


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: It hurts to say it.... *sob sob* I don't own Merlin!!!! :'(**

**Merlin Drabbles**

Arthur: Okay anyone else? Roll up people, 50p a shot.

Morgana: ME! *Hands Arthur money*

Merlin: You might need these *Hands her a collection of objects*

Morgana: Hmm... *Picks up tweezers* This is for letting my feet get cold! *Plucks Gwen's eyebrows*

Gwen: ARGH! THE AGONY!!! AAAH!!

Morgana: MWAHAHAHA!!! *Disappears*

Arthur: Anyone else?

Gaius: ME!! *Shove some nettles into Arthur's hands*

Arthur: Ouch!

Gaius: HAHAHAHA!!! *Pulls out a chainsaw*

Gwen: *Blood-curdling scream* SAVE ME!! *Runs away*

Gaius: *Screams and runs after her*

Arthur: Got the popcorn?

Merlin: Oh yeah *Extends bag*

MBM: OMD POPCORN!!

CWG: OMG GWEN DYING!!!


End file.
